These were written by Spoonsocket in 2004, except for a few added later. (May look better if your window’s wide.)
| Protoss | Terran | Zerg | other |
|---|---|---|---|
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vP Death to dark archons! Mind control is—whoa, cool. I love dark archons. |
TvZ Science vessels own. Mine was so studly, it took two scourges with it. |
Z Faster is better. Nothing can stand against my one-base ultra rush. |
T+Z Pulsating evo. You can put it right here, babe. Need something deployed? |
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P When the war is done, do all the Protoss buildings warp back to Aiur? |
T Expensive. Chancy. But I like big explosions. Nuclear warfare. |
ZvP Next time, just scourge it. Parasited observer flies over my base. |
T+P Yeah, yeah, “For Aiur.” Zealots are whacked. I do it for Ann the medic. |
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vP War is worse than hell. Hell doesn’t have stasis fields where you wait to die. |
TvP Heartcutter’s book says, don’t matter how you do it. Deny Protoss gas. |
ZvP Hydralisk dancer! Stayin’ alive, stayin’—urk! Travolta fled me. |
* Stupid observer, lagging it up. But what’s this? Yes! Battle report! |
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vP Cruel storm raider who, like an angry parent, cuts my allowance. |
TvT Heartcutter knows too, Enemy depots are key. Deny Terran beer. |
ZvP Oh mighty Protoss, on your glorious army I call down a plague. |
* I’m going to lose. I’m the world’s greatest player. You hack. Q.E.D. |
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P - drop till you drop One more reaver drop. So what if the last two failed? Once is all it takes. |
TvZ Heartcutter’s friend Burns Whips out the Springfield tickler. Deny the Zerg life. |
Z A zen koan asks: What is one Zerg expansion? There is no answer. |
* Mass while you harass. The other way is good too: Harass while you mass. |
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P Next time get it straight: Zealot, dragoon, then reaver. Soon, I’ll be Nal_Ra. |
TvZ Float away and live or die from the lurker spines. Not much difference. |
ZvP A dozen zerglings can kill a lone dark templar, given good oversight. |
* Hey, my APM is so much bigger than yours. And it’s harder, too. |
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PvZ Robot probe fighting! It’s always the same story: The lurker burrows. |
TvT On a bare temple, two command centers alight. Here, seasons don’t change. |
vZ Rebalance the game! A den of inequity! Hydras are too cheap. |
2v2 My clever partner put five on mins, five on gas. It’s one versus two. |
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PvT Cloaked wraiths don’t scare me. I’ve a cloud of observers. What’s that valk doing? |
T Am I a gamer dreaming I am a marine, or, like, vice versa? |
Z Dark swarm counter: Run. Plague counter: Run earlier. Consume counter: None. |
FFA God made free for all. If He hadn’t, we’d have been forced to invent it. |
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PvZ Feedback counters queens. Missed one, but the next is mine. Hey you, come back here! |
vT Terran containment? I’ll break it blind. Just kidding! I have to peek once. |
ZvP Corsairs make me sing. Where are all my overlords, Long time pa-assing? |
* Supply two hundred. Fifteen thousand in the bank. Think of attacking. |
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P More cannons than probes, otherwise you are not safe. Hurry, lose some probes! |
T - the unpoetic lieutenant “Hototogisu—” “Sorry, sir, you’re mistaken. Just a kakaru.” |
vZ Stand by in case of technical difficulties, like muta harass. |
* Damn newbie-basher, skimming off the losing cream. Now who will I beat? |
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PvT Shuttle nears target. Ground attack starts moving in. Zealot bombs away! |
TvP God, I hate Protoss, acting like some master race. EMP, then nuke. |
ZvP - island Twelve dark templar land. The nydus canal goes first. Cute. Scourge the shuttles. |
* I have no army. You have no economy. Tastes great together. |
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PvZ Zergalingaling. Archonicanonical. Blood-ood-ood-ood-ood. |
TvZ - till death do you join I now pronounce you, by fusion cutter power, dead ling and dead ling. |
vZ Can Boxer kill lurks? Does Yellow run up your ramp? Why not both at once? |
* Play shared bases. City of brotherly love? Sibling rivalry. |
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P I will beat you yet. With shield regeneration, one probe can kill all. |
TvZ Marines are three-three. Lurkers are zero-zero. They may need new boots. |
ZvP Broodling a dragoon. Where else can you purchase such cheap defiler food? |
* Seven computers. Win in seventy minutes, Seven times a day. |
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PvP - strategy randomization Should I go straight goons, reavers, observers, DTs? You pays yer money.... |
T - turtle Bunkers, turrets, tanks. No one can attack me now! vP: What are those big blimps? vZ: Orange clouds appear. vT: “Nuclear launch....” Where? |
ZvZ Count enemy drones. Time that lair to the second. Geek out zerg on zerg. |
FFA My free-for-all soul cries out for a random map. Please lose the Temple. |
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PvZ Storm the hydralisks! Storm the eggs twice! What the hell, storm my observers! |
TvZ Stay energetic! Eat all the zerglings you want! Stim-Slim weight-loss plan. |
vZ Mass of overlords.... Doom drop, run back to defend.... Fooled! Frontal attack! |
ZvT+P No zerglings survived. Irradiated archons swept them up like dust. |
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PvT - why Terrans go metal Pitiful Terrans who cannot spell their own words flee “maelstrom” in tanks. |
T Light from the barracks flickers as free will burns up. A marine is forged. |
ZvP Corsairs fly early. Why, Overmind, did you make devourers come late? |
* Perfect flank setup? I wouldn’t know how it feels. I always mess up. |
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PvT Fac-port is irksome. Sure, I’ll stop the drops, most times, but the risk slows me. |
TvP Fac-port is risky. What if toss has drop defense? That’s why I love it. |
ZvT Fac-port is funny. Just hatch mutas and decide: Mincemeat or burgers? |
T+Z Sweetest Kerrigan, if it’s no fun, you’ll slice me. Or if it’s too fun. |
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PvZ - unit choice Ultras, merge archons. Hydras, you need the templar. Both, remain confused. |
TvP One vulture with speed if you have flawless micro beats twenty zealots. |
ZvT Argh, bunkered again. How does Yellow defeat this? Next I’m nine-pooling. |
* Are you supply blocked? Don’t worry, I can fix that. This won’t hurt for long. |
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PvZ Can’t scout the tech switch without otherwise dumb sairs. Next life I’ll be Zerg. |
TvP Drop tanks, siege, and fire. The day is eight probes brighter. Time to run away. |
Z Guardians don’t work. They’re so easy to counter. Go fake greater spire. |
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P Pylon hiding fun. No need to hide any tech. Watch them go crazy. |
T The burning starport. The building battlecruiser. Which will be finished? |
Z Warriors or drones? Only the Zerg understand Why to do what when. |
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PvZ Slight micro error. So much for that battle group. Stormed my plagued zealots. |
TvP Cruisers counter sairs. Hmm, how many will I need? I calculate, one. |
ZvT Sharp-eyed overlord, master of all it surveys: Nothing. It’s blinded. |
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vP Swirling flush effect brings bad odors to my base. Arbiter recall. |
TvZ The Zerg is one-base, but lurkers can’t be out yet. Troops, go! Hello? Troops? |
ZvT - insane Terran Every lord blinded? Every lord in the whole drop? What, gonna nuke ’em? |
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PvZ Nostalgia is tough. How to counter low-tech Zerg with no gas expand? |
TvP Zealot incursion. Depot after depot falls. Malt liquor shortage. |
ZvP I like Nostalgia. That is many zergling, yes? That’s many reavers! |
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PvZ For finely whipped Zerg, place hydralisks by cannons then fold in zealots. |
TvP famous arbiter game Boxer-Garimto on Neo Forbidden Zone. I can die content. |
vZ The Zerg are like bugs. One hydra means you have one bad infestation. |
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TvP SCVs beat goons. Vultures easily beat zeals. Who needs to build tanks? |
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TvZ Yamato the queen. Yamato the defiler. Do a clone restore. |