the Daily Whale - no banner farm

Nope. No banner farm, no barnyard of gaudy buttons.

Jay Scott : Daily Whale : no banner farm

One day after I launched the Daily Whale, I received an e-mail message from one of the web directories that I'd submitted to. The subject was "Re:", the content was rambling, and the hype bragged that the directory was listed on Alta Vista, oh boy, along with a hundred million-some other existing web pages and tens of millions of dead ones. Except for the valid return address, the message was indistinguishable from spam.

That was my first web award. The Daily Whale has "won" several others since then, and I'm pleased to say that most of them were more tasteful. But so far I've only gotten one that I'd care to own up to. I'd be dragging down the quality of my site to put up that kind of--well, no disrespect intended, but it wouldn't be worth it.

Maybe someday I'll win a real award, one that I'll be proud to display. A Nobel Prize, perhaps, or the Congressional Medal of Honor. In the meantime, I've come up with a stopgap plan, a way to hold the fort until the syndicates and publishers finish their great bidding war for my writing. Or at least until they start it.

the solution

Stay tuned for the Daily Whale Award. Like all other web awards, the Daily Whale Award will be geared to promoting me, the one who gives it out. It will come with a hideous blinking graphic and a few lines of text that say "we're, like, so flattered to have won this, like, hyper-prestigious ultra-elite super-award that you've never heard of, and you should click here right now." To be worthy of the Daily Whale award, you have to get more hits than me, so only about 85% of the Internet will be eligible.

So far, so normal. But the Daily Whale Award will have one feature not found in any other web award: it will be exclusive. It genuinely will be a hyper-prestigious, ultra-elite super-award, and every single site that wins it will scramble to mention the Daily Whale in their television ads.

The Daily Whale Award will be so exclusive that I won't give it to anyone. That's brilliant no matter how you look at it: I increase the award's value beyond all recognition, I avoid polluting the web, webmasters will love me for shutting up, and I'll get more links than ever thanks to my stunning chutzpah, dazzling honor and armor-piercing insight.

And I don't even have to draw the blinkin' graphic.

further developments

The Daily Whale was Cool Site of the Day for 5 May 1998. CSotD, which has been around since the Dark Ages of 1994, proved its true coolness by skipping the web award rigamarole that I described above.

Another polite site that has featured the Whale is Weekly Foolish Link from April Fools on the Net. Recommended.

There are good guys in the world.

the Daily Whale