24 May 2000 - Zalambessa

According to a game-theoretic analysis, poor countries fight more wars because they have less to lose. That makes them poorer yet. The poorest combatants at the moment are Ethiopia and Eritrea, fighting around the town of Zalambessa.

Clearly, poverty and war must be stanched simultaneously. Here’s how. We’ll transport the Chechnyan rebels, Fijian coup leaders, Shining Path guerrillas, and other inconvenient insurgents to Zalambessa, which is a highly defensible area. As they kill each other off, the UN will funnel in just enough money that they can hire destitute mercenaries, gradually clearing the world’s slums. In fifty years, the globe will be peaceful and prosperous, because the poor and pugnacious will have helped themselves away.

No concentration camps needed.