25 December 2000 - mush-brain moron

Jay Scott : Daily Whale : archive : 2000 : 25 December 2000

I am a mush-brain moron
With a very tiny skull.
If you’re as mean as Sauron
You could even say I’m dull.

When all the other mutants
Built a rocket mind game toy,
They never let the moron
Decoy the joyful hoi polloi.

Then that famous Christmas eve
The mutants came to me:
“Moron with your head of bone,
You’ll be our re-entry cone!”

They bolted me onto the rocket
As I sang along with them,
“Moron the red-hot nosecone,
You’ll go down to Bethlehem!”

clue:

To the tune of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”.

Once I thought about it, I realized that the Three Glowing Things, Rudolph’s nose, the star over Bethlehem, and the halo of baby Jesus, must, at some level of analysis, be the same phenomenon. One theory should account for all of them. Mine is that Jesus was a space alien who, due to a horrible mutation, was only twice as smart as a human. I hope you didn’t believe the “virgin birth” story.

Now, about that upstart glowing potato....

take oh take this clue away