29 April 2026 - lifetime guarantee

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Beware of anything with a lifetime guarantee. Consider the incentives: If it lasts less than a lifetime, it is faulty; if longer, it is over-engineered. But the only thing with exactly that durability is life itself. Therefore, if the seller has calculated it right, when it breaks it will kill you.

the Daily Whale || copyright 2026 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>