As metric martyr Thoburn
drops like an imperial Hindenburg in a blaze of glory,
the faithful believers in pounds and ounces,
vaguely recalling the battle of Agincourt,
plot the defeat of all things continental.
Their slogan: “Business as usual!”
What do you expect in a country where even the money is in pounds?
Grocer Steve Thoburn of Sunderland (a funny name), England,
is on trial for allegedly (a funny word, but he denies the charge)
selling bananas (a funny fruit), in imperial units (a funny name for pounds).
“We have always tolerated eccentricity in this country.” — Thoburn’s
barrister Michael Shrimpton
copyright 2001, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott
<jay@satirist.org>