7 August 1998 - classical rat race

Researchers have discovered that rats which have been exposed since before birth to classical music run mazes faster. Older studies found similar effects in human babies.

Now schools and parents have a new weapon to crush rebellious spirits. Outlaw hip hop and put on the Mozart to prep those kids for the rat race.

give me a clue so sweet and true

the Daily Whale copyright 1998, 2003 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>