| Jay Scott : Daily Whale : archive : 1998 : 18 September 1998 |
NASA scientists today announced that tobacco giant Clandestine Addiction Technology, Inc., has been manipulating the nicotine levels in its cigarettes for decades. "We analyzed thousands of documents," said one exhausted engineer, "and we were stunned by what we found. These guys are so sophisticated, you really do have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out. No wonder they got away with it for so long."