17 March 2000 - Irish potatoes

It’s St. Patrick’s Day! I bought Irish potatoes, because potatoes are the sneakiest vegetable. They’re unpatriotically non-green, they grow underground, and they have eyes all over to watch everything. Starting from South America, they used Spanish explorers to travel to Europe to cause a famine to drive the Irish to North America. I’ve got to admire that—the most complicated scheme yet to promote a holiday.