24 September 2000 - parmesan cheese

I used to grate my own parmesan cheese. Yes, I admit it: I ate immodest quantities of pasta. But then I learned about Kraft 100% Grated Parmesan Cheese. Gradually I realized the tremendous truth: “Kraft” is German for power, and “parmesan” is Italian for glory. Together, the two are an unbeatable force for good, while old-fashioned parmesan wedges are nothing more than Satan’s glazier’s points, always falling out of the decaying windows of sin!

Today, I have reformed. I eat less pasta and far more cheese. As a diligent seeker after divine goodness, I thought you should be informed immediately. There is no cheese but cheese food product. Praise be!