1. The return address is missing, or says “Publishers’ Clearinghouse.”
2. The envelope displays threatening language, such as
“low introductory rate!”.
3. Bulky or lumpy envelopes, or envelopes with an unusual smell,
may contain dangerous free samples.
Do not discard suspicious mail! Forward it to responsible authorities, such as your personal enemies.
the Daily Whale
copyright 2001, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott
<jay@satirist.org>