10 December 2001 - global warming

The planet Venus long ago succumbed to the ravages of global warming, and Earth is fighting a losing battle. New research shows that Mars too is suffering an onslaught of increased temperatures.

There is only one way to save the solar system from final meltdown: More space debris. We must all trade in our cell phones for satellite phones, and demand NASA missions to every asteroid. It will require hard work and sacrifice, but only when space junk dims the sun can our planets at last revolve safely in their pristine primordial cool.