12 May 1999 - just shoot him

The Lowest Common Denominator Theory of Everything holds that all bad events, including wars, epidemics, earthquakes, and irritating TV commercials, are the fault of a few evil slimeballs like Slobodan Milosevic and Eric Harris. If somebody would just shoot these nogoodniks, we’d soon live in a sitcom world where any problem can be solved in half an hour.

You see how foolish the lowest common denominator is? Shooting will never improve commercials.