the Daily Whale - archive 1999

Jay Scott : Daily Whale : archive : 1999
2012 2011 2010
2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000
1999 1998 1991-1994

The digits are piling up.... Fasten your seatbelts, I think it’s going to roll over!



January February March
1 1999 talking and thinking Catharine MacKinnon
2 daily nudibranch sweepstakes winner life, a bitter brew
3 election campaign sweepstakes entry landmine ban
4 joy to Saddam accounting for taste landmine phone call
5 year-end wrap-up tastelessness impossibility
6 entrepreneurs experienced guilt great leaders quiz
7 Theory of Everything faith quiz top banana war
8 least flycatcher faith quiz 2 banana reply
9 Asian crisis frivolity banana analysis
10 creativity program act of war Kitty Kelley
11 lie: statistics affordable conflict M.I.D.A.S. G.O.L.D.
12 lie: partial truth vigilante states living wisely
13 lie: empty phrases global justice maniac of Manayunk
14 foolish jokes Saint Valentine joining NATO
15 humor quiz blue jeans artificiality
16 living in sin everyone's different half guilty
17 Bayesian morality Tinky Winky advanced technology
18 conventional sense Jerry Fall-Well advanced terminology
19 VCR programmer me and money drug name shortage
20 virtue and vice Amadou Diallo make sense of life
21 mission functionality Diallo: police thinking Procrustean life
22 Renaissance man Diallo: Street Crime Unit grade inflation
23 probe probe Diallo: pity New York that winning feeling
24 remote control joy of laziness NATO and Kosovo
25 Castro learns pointless guilt Kosovo political will
26 Big Brother Inside hopeless fantasy decisiveness
27 Big Brother Outside cable car ethnic cleansing song
28 meaning of life taking the plunge war to end a war
29 mutual annihilation Kosovo opinions
30 peace or war NATO propaganda
31 zero privacy telephone
April May June
1 destroying your universe movies with morals the place of plants
2 Melissa virus morals of movies mockingbird
3 democratic immunity plot hole respectable Pakistan
4 mother of invention haiku haiku little India
5 credit card solicitation no spare friends dirty mind
6 normality MP3 ego boosters
7 humility quiz lies and truth technology convergence
8 remain silent the ABC's of poetry moving to Belgium
9 Official Witticism innocence gifts to posterity
10 total blindness experience don't know
11 two kinds quiz optimistic cynic the highest art
12 NATO: empty buildings just shoot him under the sun
13 Serbia: empty words what MP3 is advice
14 the best medicine follow the rules steel backbone
15 half full/half empty wallflower quiz protectionism
16 one step of foresight confusion flying buttress
17 Kosovo quiz vernal kirtle work dumber
18 a journey begins touring Earth commercial history
19 morning coffee Star Wars hangup be like a puppet
20 life of study Declaration of Dependency liberty quiz
21 extrasolar planets care of friends we will overcome
22 having kids discovery and invention what goes up
23 science funding political paralysis life crises
24 hard work dissolute cowards dictators
25 ingenuity Europe confused wishy-washy quiz
26 wubblespitzing Italian seasons waffle-brain quiz
27 bombing Serb TV consensus do as I say
28 before feminism Answer Bot the show must go on
29 buy it facts on the ground three keys to success
30 Amazon.com proof by contradiction bad memory
31 surprise quiz
July August September
1 significant other ethnic jokes exploding haiku
2 water landing sic transit gloria mundi intended recipient
3 Fasten Seatbelt I'm Something Else everyone's normal
4 airline police state misspelling photo: praise
5 miracle secret idiot staggered by love
6 worth doing impostor smart mice
7 improving the world real impostor candidates
8 Lyndon LaRouche making a new name the time is there
9 go sell it crisis survival scientific diplomacy
10 more Lyndon LaRouche love-hate relationship footnote
11 dysfunctionally ever after history as she is wrote don't have an idea
12 1-800-SUBVERT evolution in Kansas educating your ideas
13 all figured out Creationism Alice and Bob
14 ejection seat duelling young dog
15 Iranian revolution determination cycle of knowledge
16 loyalty quiz four titles: colon-ization misguided friends
17 descent into dissension the end of our deploring misguided enemies
18 change your mind Burning Man communication advice
19 undercut the downfall GM food quiz disaster advice
20 red-eye reduction heat-modified food chimp smile
21 smart quiz Global Agribiz Group particle dating
22 live forever learning to walk string of earthquakes
23 focus of eternity nymphoma God loses patience
24 get stood up be a photo critic! FBI WARNING
25 shy: turtle photo: influences transgressions
26 forgetfulness photo: composition save the dinosaurs!
27 search terms photo: distraction hypnotism
28 non-stop photo: jargon environmental interview
29 riptide in the affairs Goethe's birthday knowledge is power
30 each mortal dawn respect rape the land
31 lack of love unspoiled planet
October November December
1 stubbornness immoral actions SETI message
2 purple dinosaur civilization vs decadence SETI foreign aid
3 car alarm more civ vs dec SETI visitor
4 the evil of shaving jumping to conclusions SETI WTO
5 attitude contextualist art WTO confrontation
6 merger mania politician registry WTO innocence
7 ugly truth tearful Bill Gates WTO arrogance
8 living will moderation WTO incitement
9 ideal cynic advice advice see no evil
10 disaster quiz Answer Bot: questions great absurdity
11 one life to lose value of technology niceness quiz
12 no extra lives svelte intellect denormalization
13 warning messages pearly gates abnormal
14 chicken coup types of love complex power
15 last resort exercise quiz simplicity
16 Pervais Musharraf speaks art and science 3 Bennie the Bacterium
17 judgmental art and science 2 antibiotic resistance
18 escalate art and science 1 telephone
19 America: all the slants crisis crisis telephone ease
20 Europe: dream kingdom engineers telephone from birth
21 everybody's a moron zeugma Gauss and Maxwell
22 four kinds of art be safe closest moon
23 three kinds of writing minimalism cell phone security
24 two kinds of sculpture electric lighting Jingle Bells
25 math is hard outside the box spirit of Christmas
26 Barbie's eggs by my so potent art excess
27 Barbie in our image happy chocolate the end is near
28 the more you know Winnie the Pooh worth wanting
29 psychic hotline foolhardy worth paying for
30 spin control argument year 2000 toast
31 beware! launch the fireworks!

the Daily Whale || copyright 1999 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>