29 June 1999 - three keys to success

Learn and practice the three keys to success. You too can be an obscure Internet commentator with a small confused following!

1. Most world problems can be solved by leveraging the sophisticated application of modern humor theory.
2. Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can undermine your entire philosophy of life. So all other world problems can be solved with sticks and stones.
3. Know your tools. Don’t try to pick up a rock which has a firmly-attached planet.