29 May 2000 - your contract

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Have you, hardy explorer, ever trekked through one of those shady, vine-strung, wet-leaved microprint megacontracts? They are what megacorporations inflict on micropeople in exchange for, say, employment or fixing the leaks in your roof.

Of course you haven’t—why explore what’s already mapped? The contract says that you promise everything and Megacorp promises nothing; that if the sun rises this is purely a coincidence; and that whatever goes wrong, including rainy weather, is your fault.

But notice: we puny explorers outnumber the risk-averse companies. If we speak firmly, they must heel at our command. So I say, let’s give them a taste of their own jungle! Follow along over the next two days as I provide a sample agreement for corporations to sign before you’ll do business.

the Daily Whale || copyright 2000, 2023 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>