27 April 2002 - stock market analysts

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Action Drama News now continues our special report, “Stock Market Analysts—Even Less Truthful Than TV Journalists?” We join “Janet” in Washington.

Janet: Thanks, “Wolf.” I’m here with Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Harvey Pitt. Harv, the SEC has just launched an investigation into Wall Street analysts who give self-serving advice. As a political appointee, are you sure it’s such a good idea to crack down on liars?
Pitt: I should say, uh, “Janet,” that this inquiry is, if anything, overdue. The review would have been more timely in 1928, or indeed at any time before now.
Janet: So you’re planning to strike swiftly and hard?
Pitt: Ah yes, precisely so. After the year-long review, the SEC will carefully consider whether any further rule-making is warranted to protect investor confidence in the American securities markets, which are the strongest and most open in the world.
Janet: Thank you, Harv! “Wolf,” how’s the score card?
Wolf: It’s looking bad. Even this minimal enforcement is more than we journalists suffer with.

the Daily Whale || copyright 2002, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>