2 February 1999 - sweepstakes winner

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Anonymous Reader, here is your Grand Prize Winner’s Check! This official document entitles you, Anonymous Reader, to a colossal cash caboodle, subject to final verification that you are the Grand Prize Winner.

Just imagine it! Thanks to our magazine marketing money, you, Anonymous Reader, will be as rich as a slumlord or a drug baron—and without the ethical concerns. To claim your loot, follow the official entry instructions precisely. All entries have an equal chance to win.

Sincerely, Ed McMahon

the Daily Whale || copyright 1999, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>